Scarce: A Shikamaru Vignette
by Word Jester
Summary: To quote the late Mark Twain: "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."


"_**What would men be without women?**_

"Man this is a drag!" Shikamaru growled. He jumped away from his hiding spot, narrowly avoiding a rain of exploding notes. In retaliation he threw a kunai in the direction that the notes came from, biting back a curse as more notes rained down on the area. The brunette was quick to move to a safer area.

He skidded to a halt behind a large oak and pressed his hand tightly against the transmitter tucked in his ear.

"Some help would be nice!" he barked into the small microphone. "Choji, Kiba, Shino!" A kunai pierced the wood just above the boy's head, causing him to crouch low he carefully scanned the area for an attacker but the surroundings gave up no one.

"Sorry Shikamaru, our hands are kind of tied right now," the static eroded voice of Choji said through the transmitter, "try Neji's team!" the line went dead after an earsplitting explosion

"Choji!" Shikamaru tried to no result to get in touch with his first team. He bit back another curse as he swiftly changed frequencies to get in touch with his second team. He was met with the unmistakable whine of the transmitter being out of range.

Frustration setting in, Shikamaru snatched the transmitter from his ear and threw it as far away as possible. He jumped to his feet and climbed into the oak above him, hoping the new position would give him a better advantage.

The new height proved to be his advantage; he could see far into the distance and immediately saw the damage caused by the enemy.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a raspy voice asked. Fully alert to the danger, Shikamaru spun on his heels, kunai clutched tightly in his grip. His actions were met with a similar kunai blocking his own.

"Slow down boy," the new person, who was cloaked in navy robes with a baboon mask shielding their face chuckled, "Don't you want to know my master plan?" the mysterious person was forced to jump back to avoid a kunai to the throat.

"I don't have to hear your plans to know that I have to stop you!"

The deep chuckle that the mysterious person responded with told the Jounin that they were male. A swift analysis of their stance and physical appearance gave Shikamaru the slight hope that he could win in a fair fight…if only he could get the unknown man into the light.

"It's just like you Hidden Leaf shinobi to think of yourselves as heroes of the day; to think your cause is the only noble one!" the man with the baboon face shook his head solemnly. "You all just fail to the see the bigger picture!" He was once again forced to jump out of the way of a flying weapon. This time he was barely able to avoid a fatal blow, the weapon slicing a large cut into his cloak.

"I could care less about your 'bigger picture', you are a threat to his village and it is my duty as a shinobi to protect these people. People like you make my job a drag!" Shikamaru prepared another kunai for flight but was forced to dodge a well aimed fist to his abdomen. The baboon man had successfully driven the two deeper into the trees trumping any chance for the sun's light reaching them. The baboon man smiled maliciously.

"Do you think I'd engage in battle with you without knowing what I was getting into? I know all about you, boy of the Nara clan. I know of your family's ability to manipulate your enemy's shadow, but tell me: what are you deduced to when there is no shadow to manipulate?"

Shikamaru could practically hear the smile on the baboon man's lips. The Nara boy was quick to throw another kunai the man's way, a kunai that was way off its mark. A loud, mocking laughter rang out at the miss.

"What are you aiming for boy? Typical of a child who relies so heavily on his Kekkai Genkai, no aim and no sense of what is up; and they call you a genius!" Another round of raucous laughter rang into the air "It's laughable what you Hidden Leaf shinobi classify as a genius!" Another kunai ripped into the opposite side of the baboon man's cloak while a second one fell low of its target, falling to the ground far below. The attack swiftly cut the man's laughter short.

"You are starting to annoy me, boy" the man ground out, "not a smart thing to do." Shikamaru opened his mouth to respond but was stopped short by a rough hand to his slightly chapped lips. A burning sensation began at the center of the man's calloused palm and quickly spread throughout the hand. Shikamaru attempted to break himself free of the man's grip but found the hold iron clad.

"You can't escape my grip boy, I have the strength of ten thousand kilos in both hands and I don't plan on letting go anytime soon." He offered the captured boy a triumphant smile. "If you thought your little plan was going to work then you are more gullible than I thought! You thought you could capture me in that net you had strung together by the ends of your kunai but it looks like I am the better actor!

"Now you owe me a new cloak but I think you can repay me in a different way! You see I have another special ability in these hands of mine, I can heat them to appoint that will melt the skin off your face. I think that is a very fitting payback; one less Leaf shinobi to deal with and I won't have to look at your ugly mug or hear that annoying voice a second longer!" The heat intensified tenfold, making the Jounin struggle for escape. However, when one is in the clutches of a man with a ten thousand grip, escape was near impossible.

And it was as the brunette began to resign to his fate that the heat suddenly faded and the grip around his mouth vanished. The boy watched in confusion as the man collapsed to his knees, his eyes dulling at an alarming rate.

"Man that guy was loud! I tracked his laughter all the way from the village!" a light feminine voice complained. Shikamaru followed the voice to the small form of a dark haired girl around the Jounin's age.

She was dressed in a way that always caused the Jounin to blush: her form fitting top stopped mid-abdomen, exposing her lean stomach, while her shorts stopped an inch or two below her shapely bottom, exposing her shapely legs. Her tan skin complimented her dark hair and dancing sea green eyes very well.

Shikamaru blinked stupidly as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. The girl giggled softly at her companion's lost look.

"I thought you'd be a little more appreciative, I did just save your life!" Shikamaru ground loudly.

"Man what a drag," the boy grouched. He rubbed the back of his head and looked away from the girl. He knew he'd **never **hear the end of this!

_**Scarce, sir….mighty scarce." – Mark Twain**_


End file.
